Royals vs. All-Time Worsts

The Royals currently sit at 11-35 and are on pace for 123 losses. They clearly are the wrost team in baseball this year. But how do they stack up against the all-time worst teams?

There's a lot of subjectivity in this ugly pageant. But we've narrowed the focus down to five teams, with a bias agaisnt selecting one team per era.

We start off with the 1916 Philly A's, who finished 36-117. Their offensive OPS is .612, which seems really bad but was actually 96th percentile in the AL that year. We don't have pitching OPS stats that year. But the A's gave up 1.2 runs more per game than the next most generous team (31 percent more than the Tigers allowed that year). The A's 19 homers were second most in the AL that year. But they allowed 26, second worst. Ace Elmer Myers walked 168 batters (in 315 innings). The A's led the league in walks allowed 715, which will make the sabermatricians happy.

We now sail through this putrescence all the way to 1935, where we come across the stink of the Boston Braves (38-115). Their .671 OPS was 91 percent the league average. But the Phillies had a worse OPS and the Phillies also allowed more runs per game (yet Philly finished 64-89). Ace Frank Frankhouse struck out 64 in 230.7 innings. OF Wally Berger carried the offense with 34 homers and 130 RBI while no other starter hit more than five homers. (Babe Ruth did have six jacks in 72 Abs before retiring in-season.)

Next up, the 1962 Mets at 40-120. 88th percentile with a .643 OPS, tied for Houston for the league's worst mark (but the Colt 45s scored less runs per game). The staff allowed 5.89 runs per game, .79 or 15 percent worse than the next worst team, the Cubbies (5.10), which is nowhere near as bad as the 1916 A's. Roger Craig famously lost 24 games. The Mets actually led the league in offensive walks (sorry, sabermetricians). Richie Ashburn had 81 BBs and 39 Ks on his way to compiling a .424 OBP, a mark topped by only John Olerud and Edgardo Alfonzo in team history.

Our first foray into modernity is the 1979 Blue Jays at 53-109, The 1979 Oakland A's had a worse offense, though Toronto finished in the 81st percentile in OPS. The Blue Jays did allow the most runs per game, but just one-hundredth more than the A's. In fact, you can make a case that Oakland, not Toronto was the worst team in the league that year. Back to Toronto, Bob Bailor started the entire year in right field despite just one homer and a .229 average. Danny Ainge started the most games at second after ending his season with the Celtics, but had a .555 OPS in 308 ABs.

Remember the 2003 Tigers, 43-119? It seems just like yesterday, doesn't it? Again, in the 81st percentile in OPS, but this was by far the worst offensive mark around. The pitching was also putrid, at 5.73 RPG, second worst to Texas. Five offensive starters had a slugging percentage at or below .373. SS Ramon Santiago had over 400 Abs despite a .576 OPS. Finally, we can have some OPS differential to stack up against the Royals. The Tigers team OPS .675/allowed .813 for a differential of minus .138, which is REALLY bad.

Now, back to the future with the 2006 Royals. Net OPS for them is minus .143 (.709 for/.852 against). The Mariners and Angels actually have worse offenses, at least so far. But the Royals do have the worst pitching. Last in K/BB ratio (1.25; Twins are first), 27th in Ks (Mets are first), second to the Blue Jays in most homers allowed. The season totals are a little skewed by the fact that KC (along with Boston) has played the majors fewest games, two less than average at the moment.

We've made as strong case for the 1916 A's as the major's all-time worst team. But the Royals are right there with the 2003 Tigers in the mix. The 1962 Mets are a shade behind, I think. Sure, the pitching was awful, but only half as bad as the 1916 A's relative to the next worst staff. And the Mets offense wasn't even the worst in the league that year (thanks to all those walks, I guess). But most of 2006 remains unwritten. So, let's go Royals! Do something historic in a so-bad-it's-good, "Cocktail" (the movie) kind of way.

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Weekly Fantasy Touts: May 29 - June 4

By Michael Salfino

AMERICAN LEAGUE
Put 'em in

Ian Kinsler, 2B, Rangers: Homered twice on Thursday when he finally returned from a dislocated thumb. He's a good bet to finish with 20 homers and 15 steals and thus should be active in all formats.

Jose Lopez, 2B, Mariners: This year's Jorge Cantu is for real. But Lopez is smooth with the glove, too, and projects long-term at second base. Unlike Cantu, Lopez is a groundball hitter, which helps his average but limits his homer upside to the low 20s.

Bench 'em

Jorge Posada, C, Yankees: At press time, the word from the Bronx was that he wasn't going to be placed on the disabled list due to his torn hamstring tendon. But that doesn't mean he'll be playing this week.

Felix Hernandez, P, Mariners: Seattle screwed with a good thing when they ordered him to stop throwing his devastating slider out of fear that would cause an arm injury. So now it has a healthy starter who's getting raked. Congrats.

NATIONAL LEAGUE
Put 'em in

Cliff Floyd, OF, Mets: He's too good a hitter to continue slumping. As always, he's battling an assortment of minor injuries. But he's likely in the middle of a hot streak.

Greg Maddux, P, Cubs: The Pitcher of the Month of April has wilted in May. But most players randomly alternate cold and hot streaks. Maddux gets two starts this week (Cincy, at St. Louis).

Bench 'em

Taylor Buchholz, P, Astros: He's too young and owns stuff that's too modest to rely on in mixed leagues despite the shutout last week. Plus, he gets only one start this week (at St. Louis).

Jimmy Rollins, SS, Phillies: Long-term, he'll bounce back. But he isn't running enough and has been bumped down to the bottom of the lineup. So, mixed leaguers need to explore better options this week.

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Happy Birthday Bob Dylan

There's a great celebration about to take place on WFUV here in New York. To celebrate Bob Dylan's 65th birthday tomorrow, fans are voting for their 15 favorite Dylan songs and stating why. Each person gets three picks. Here were mine:

Girl of the North Country

Dylan's most touching song. For me, it's about the timelessness and persistence of innocent love, which somehow always manages to survive earthly constraints. The song brilliance is in the remoteness of the narrarator, who either can't bear to confront his past or does not want to spoil the memories -- and, really, what's the difference?

Watching the River Flow

So many of the things that drag us down are ephemeral. What could possibly capture this truth better than the image of the spokesman of the counter-culture sitting on a bank of sand and contemplating the relative permanence of a flowing river in the face of rising dissent over the transitory issues of the day.

Visions of Johanna

So vibrant and interesting upon each listening. The song strikes a unique balance between surrealism and realism. Great art makes the strange familiar and the familiar strange and there's no song in the Dylan cannon that accomplishes this better than VOJ.

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Weekly Fantasy Touts: May 22 - 28

By Michael Salfino

AMERICAN LEAGUE
Put 'em in

Francisco Liriano, P, Twins: Finally in the rotation after toiling away in middle relief while the Twins trotted out mediocrities like Carlos Silva and Kyle Lohse. Don't buy into the Johan Santana Jr. hype, but get him active in all formats.

Justin Verlander, P, Tigers: He's only striking out five guys per nine innings despite being clocked at 100 MPH. But his walk rate is about half that and one of his two starts this week is vs. KC.

Bench 'em

Matt Clement, P, Red Sox: He hasn't been the same since being being hit in the face with a line drive, which is not unprecedented in baseball history. One start this week vs. the Yankees mean any hopes of a turnaround will very likely have to wait.

Adrian Beltre, 3B, Mariners: 2004 was a career year. Now, he is struggling mightily, being called into closed-door meetings, battling a tender hammy.... What more do you need to put him on the pine?

NATIONAL LEAGUE
Put 'em in

Cole Hamels, P, Phillies: You can never expect a rookie pitcher to break out. But while he's battling some rookie jitters and only throws in the low 90s, Hamels' minor league stats indicate a decent chance for quick success.

Pedro Feliz, 3B, Giants: He had 10 ribbies in a three-game series in Houston last week and entered the weekend slugging .500. But it won't last long with him striking out more than five times as often as he walks.

Bench 'em

Brandon Phillips, 2B, Reds: Since he hit only .254 in AAA last year, it's no shock that he's crashed back to earth (hitting .233 with just a .267 slugging percentage over the past three weeks). He'll soon play his way out of a job.

Moises Alou, OF, Giants: He's recovering more quickly than expected from an ankle sprain, but is still iffy for the week. So soldier on with your designated replacement.

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Dan Pompei is an Idiot

There's always a lot of stupid things said in the Sporting News (which has improved over the past five years to the point where it now takes seven minutes to read anything useful in it as opposed to five).

For example, we get the "Scouts Views," which are always packed with insight. This week, we were told "Cliff Floyd's hitting zone is limited..." That's really unusual, a guy not being able to hit certain pitches, say high and tight and low and away.

This week, Dan Pompei treated us to his breathless reporting about how the Saints are going to feature a two halfback offense and that it can work "because the thinking on offense is expanding." Maybe the Cardinals can figure out a way to play Leinart and Warner a the same time and really break the bounderies of convention.

He says, "Plus Payton can take a look at how the Vikings over the years have found ways to open up seams in the running game without a lead blocker."

Not having a lead blocker when you have an extra tight end or wide receiver is one thing. Not having a lead blocker because you have a guy in the backfield who can't block is another. But I would love to see Reggie Bush clearing the way for Deuce McAllister on a lead draw, slamming into inside backers. That's a great way to protect a $50 million investment.

But Pompei isn't done: "...playing Bush and McAllister together isn't much different from playing Tony Gonzalez and Priest Holmes together."

What? So playing people at the same position isn't much differnet than playing people together at differnt positions? What revolutionary thinking!

The key, he says, will be sending one in motion (thus turning one into a wide receiver). Teams aren't going to give a crap about Deuce being flanked out wide. Having Bush out there will be scary, but there's nothing revolutionary about that and then he has to make his living beating NFL corners instead of linebacker and safeties. So, there are diminishing returns there.

I said it then and will say it again: drafting Reggie Bush was the dumbest thing the Saints could have done given their financial commitment to McAllister. There's no way to rationalize spending $100 million on a couple of halfbacks in a salary capped NFL world. It was and remains insane. Even spending half that on one back is stupid becasue, as McAllister proved, backs are hurt too easily. The Saints, as presently constructed, have no room for error in personnel investements. And they will make errors, like all teams do. So, Bush plus McAllister is hopeless even if both stay healthy and productive.

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Media Madness (Off Topic)

There has to be a way to combine our three current media obsessions:

--The bald dude being voted off American Idol

--The immigration "crisis"

--Alligator attacks in Florida

How about: Each week we get to vote to deport entire Mexican towns not just out of the country but into a waiting alligator pit located in central Florida, right outside of Disney World. Lou Dobbs can host. It can be based either on how a representative immigrant from said town either (a) scrubs toilets or (b) sings shmaltzy ballads/pop dreck. Better yet, let's have them sing while they scrub before the panel of judges: Rush Limbaugh, Edward James Olmos and Paula Abdul (but on the condition that Limbaugh and Abdul are always high). All phone votes monitored and verified by the U.S. Government.

Note: the majority of Americans say that the voting controversy on American Idol is as important as the controversy that ended the 2000 presidential election. What a country!

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Weekly Fantasy Touts: May 15 - 21

By Michael Salfino

AMERICAN LEAGUE
Put 'em in

Melky Cabrera, OF, Yankees: Has some promise as a hitter (.385 this year in AAA) and gets full-time at bats with wrist injuries to Gary Sheffield and Hideki Matsui, the later possibly season ending.

Brandon McCarthy, P, White Sox: We're not as bullish as some with that modest K-rate in relief no less. But he gets two starts this week (at Twins, Cubs), replacing Jose Contreras (pinched nerve), who is sidelined indefinitely.

Bench 'em

:Mark Kotsay (OF, A's): HIs chronic back woes may prevent him from ever expressing the power he's flashed in recent years.

Ian Kinsler (2B, Rangers): With Buck Showalter favorite Mark DeRosa tearing it up, the Rangers are in no rush to activate Kinsler and when they do, it may be in a backup role despite a blistering start before dislocating his thumb.

NATIONAL LEAGUE
Put 'em in

Dontrelle Willis, P, Marlins: With one homer allowed and twice as many strikeouts as walks in his first 46 innings, his ERA with average luck/defense on balls in play would be 3.23, not 6.22 (where it sits).

Dave Roberts, OF, Padres: He still sits against lefties, but that's okay if he keeps running wild (seven steals in his last seven games heading into the weekend).

Bench 'em

Brian Giles, 2B, Braves: The chipped bone and sprained ligament in his finger seem to be lingering. The safe play in mixed leagues is to reserve him until you know he proves he's healthy by stringing together some hits.

Aaron Rowand, OF, Phillies: It must be next to impossible to hit with a broken nose. Rowand's tough and will try to play through it. He doesn't command the strike zone well enough to keep hitting .300.

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Weekly Fantasy Touts: May 8 - May 14

Forgot to post this when I wrote it on Friday:

By Michael Salfino

AMERICAN LEAGUE
Put 'em in

Julio Lugo, SS, Devil Rays: Finally back from a strained rib cage, Lugo offers top speed and runs scored batting lead-off for Tampa Bay. Start him in all formats.

Paul Byrd, P, Indians: When you can find a pitcher on the waiver wire who gets two weekly starts with one against the weakling Royals, get him active. Byrd is a control artist who should rebound from April woes.


Bench 'em

Brad Wilkerson, OF, Rangers: After striking out 41 times in his first 102 at bats, Wilkerson re-injured his shoulder on Thursday crashing into an OF wall.

Justin Huber, 1B, Royals: Only in the bizarro Royals' world does it make sense to call up on of your handful of top prospects (led the Texas League in hitting in '05) and bench him in favor of 38-year-old journeyman Matt Stairs.

NATIONAL LEAGUE
Put 'em in

Todd Helton, 1B, Rockies: Back from his intestinal distress, which rumors of a lengthy stay on the DL created for all of his owners. The Rockies are mashing the ball in the early going.

Jeff Kent, 2B, Dodgers: Yes, he entered the weekend hitting .180. But the due theory does have some merit in baseball. Even at 38, Kent is too good to keep struggling.

Bench 'em

Jeremy Hermida, OF, Marlins: While his owners looked forward to a return from the DL this week, a setback in rehabbing his hip flexor pushed Hermida's timetable back slightly .

Oliver Perez, P, Pirates: The Pirates announced this week they're at a loss and are going to let Perez do whatever he wants to try to recapture his 2004 form. Make sure the experiment does not continue on your dime.

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Net OPS Leaders

(SCROLL DOWN FOR THE YOUNG/BONDS POSTS)

Through the first month:

Team/ Net OPS
Tigers 0.208
Yankees 0.197
Brewers 0.13
Mets 0.108
White Sox 0.1
Indians 0.067
Rockies 0.065
Cardinals 0.042
Blue Jays 0.039
Astros 0.035
Rangers 0.033
Reds 0.024
Red Sox 0.017
Dodgers 0.011
DBacks 0.01
Braves -0.007
Angels -0.015
Nationals -0.023
Marlins -0.032
A's -0.037
Cubs -0.043
Giants -0.049
Orioles -0.054
Mariners -0.065
Padres -0.074
Phillies -0.078
Devil Rays -0.123
Pirates -0.131
Royals -0.152
Twins -0.209

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My Fair Vince

Trent Dilfer said a really dumb thing on the NFL Network last night. People say dumb things all the time, obviously. But this was noteworthy, I think, because it reflects reflexive NFL thinking. Here's what he said:

"Most people, most traditionalists, don't belive that Vince Young can become a drop-back, in-the-pocket, NFL passer in this league. I tend to disagree. But I disagree on this notion: he has to be coached the right way. I'm really interested to see how Norm Chow, a guy who has incredible success on the college level developing quarterbacks, teaching him the fundamentals. Teach him every aspect of being a dropback quarterback. How that transitions into the NFL, taking this incredible athlete, a guy who has been incredibly successful in college football and see if he can mold him and shape him and discipline him into being a dropback quarterback in the National Football League."

The premise that you need to change Young into being a dropback passer is what's stupid here. If you wanted a dropback passer, you shouldn't have drafted Young. Does Dilfer, et al, believe that Young should be turned into Dan Marino? No one is more of an advocate of dropback, down-the-field passing than me. But there are exceptions to every rule. Young has to be given the latitude to freelance and make plays with his feet or his unique talent is being wasted.

It is scary to think that Chow, who is known for developing the statues like Palmer and Leinart, is going to be in charge of transitioning Young into the NFL. Let's hope he doesn't throw the baby out with the bathwater.

END OF POST

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Mike's Letter to the Editor

You know I couldn't let the sanctimonious Bonds editorial in my local paper yesterday stand unchallenged:

There is zero scientific evidence that steroids actually enhance baseball performance. In fact, University of California Professor Emeritus of Economics Art De Vany has proven pretty conclusively that Barry Bonds' recent exploits are consistent with the variation experienced by other great home run hitters throughout baseball history. The same is true of home runs in general.

Evidence aside, I'll answer the ridiculously sanctimonious question from your May 4 editorial. Players who took steroid sought the same advantages we all seek with enhancements such as Viagra, botox, breast implants, hair transplants, Rogaine, nose jobs, diet pills, SAT sample tests (i.e., cheating), resume "building" (i.e., lying), , creative accounting (i.e., stealing), etc., etc. We do what it takes to get more money and power. You glorify athletes when you expect them to act differently despite being in the most cut-throat of all businesses. Athletes aren't heroes, but merely people.

And don't feel sorry for Roger Maris. His teammate Jim Bouton documented the widespread use of illegal amphetamines in his Yankees clubhouse decades ago in his book, "Ball Four."

Michael Salfino
Rutherford, May 4

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Mike vs. Mel Kiper

First off, I felt I had a horrible mock draft. Picking players is hard. Teams keep doing silly things like trading up. Some still insist on "taking the best available athlete," as if they can identify who that is. At least take need, which you can easily identify, and maximize your chance for a decent day.

I identified 25 of the 32 players who actually were picked in the first round. I put six guys on the right team. And I had six guys in exactly the right draft spot. Pretty putrid, right? I thought so, too.

But then I checked on Mel Kiper's last mock. He had 26 of the 32 first-round picks, one more than me. He also beat me with guys on the right team, with seven (versus six for me). And we tied on picking players in exactly the right draft slot: six.

So, advantage Mel. By a single hair on that bouffant head. But, hey, Mel does this all year. I spent a few hours on it during a lazy afternoon.

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