On The Couch: Week 2

REFRESH THIS PAGE!!

Oh, one more thing. The time has come to get Joseph Addai. And DeAngelo Williams, too. Don't move a mountain. But be willing to move a small hill.

Okay, ran out of steam in the p.m., as I'm fighting an illness. So, we're doing the 4 p.m. games all at once. But first, the Giants left me speechless. There are more flags with this team than any Giants fan cares to admit right now. New York can't protect the QB and can't stop the pass. Still, they win. Somehow. I don't want to be an Eagle walking around Philly tonight. Watch out for the flying Cheeze Whiz. In fact, pray it is only Cheez Whiz.

Michael Turner is the latest RB to audtion in "Searching for L.J.," which is playing in the dreams and ruminations of every fantasy owner in a deep league nationwide. 138 yards on 13 carries is pretty sweet. I have to catch the deatails. The Titans stink, clearly. But, if the unthinkable ever happened to L.T., well.... We don't even want to think about that.

Antonio Bryant is exciting me even with the Diva act he pulled at halftime. All the receivers are in their own little world. They think about themselves a lot. But they have to because a receiver without a ball is like a singer without a song. Now, I drafted Bryant everywhere, so I'm questioning my objectivity. I'm trying really hard not to get too excited. But it's hard. Remember, he had a 52-yard TD called back last week. Alex Smith has grown up, like Eli last year.

Not impressed by the Cardinals and Kurt Warner. Tough spot. Wasn't necessarily looking for the win. But expected the offense to put some scare into the Seattle defense and they never did.

The Jets did great blitzing Brady, like I thought they would. But they waited too long to do it. New England had the kind of late drive on the road that you expect from a great team. Would have liked to see more consistency from Chad. But he did enough to prove that we can't yet rule out a return all the way back to his fabulous 2002 form. Jerricho Cotchery is a nice little player who is built like a running back and runs like one after the catch.

Is anyone really eating the fried macaroni and cheese we're seeing in all those commercials? If you are, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Larry Johnson stepped up today and proved he's a great player. Don't talk to me about the first-quarter fumble, as he was fighting for yards after being put in an impossible position by Herm on 3rd and 5. Tatum Bell can't be an everydown back? Why does Mike Shanahan seem so sure of this? He did well in that role with a separated shoulder in 2004.

Brad Smith is running a gadget play this week. But Belichick knows that, right?

Herm runs it again on third and five by the goal line? He can't blame it on "communications problems" again, can he? (L.J. fumbled.)

Delhomme careless with the ball again on an OT blitz and this time he loses it and doesn't recover. If they call this a tuck play, I'll barf. That was not a pass! Let's see if reason prevails? Nope. Tuck. What a joke.

I like Brian Baldinger. I've talked to him once for about an hour. But he said something stupid just now, that the Panthers, who won the OT toss, should have kicked off. Here's why that's dumb. The receiving team has a better chance to win in a vacuum. There is no win indoors. Once you get to your minus 30, you have no field position edge. And what happens if the guy runs the kickoff back 50 yards?

Julius Peppers is having a game that looks like a video game cheat. He's just making it look so easy on every snap, just pummeling Brad Johnson.

Jake Delhomme has a little Brett Favre in him. And I mean that in a bad way. Tossing the ball away to avoid the sack in such an awkward way that it was ruled a fumble in the final two minutes of a tie game? He's lucky his lineman recovered. But, silly.

Knew Ryan Longwell was going to throw for a TD this week. Seriously, if you start a kicker and he throws a TD pass, you should win your game. Automatic. And I'm not saying that because I own Longwell, I swear.

The Texans coaches think rookie TE Owen Daniels can be a very productive player, we're told after he just scores. They're going to be throwing a lot.

Not impressed by anything the Ravens have done this year. Sorry. And stop dancing, Ray Lewis, against the backup QB on the worst team in football.

Giants pass defense: Back to the drawing board, boys.

Kitna 17-for-19 against the Bears? For 180+ yards and no picks? That's impressive even considering the score.

Manning (and when I say "Manning," I mean Peyton) is going to tell us to turn to another game like in the commercial, right? I keep waiting for it. He had a TD pass called back, too.

Lee Evans should have had a 50-yard TD. He was interfered with. But the bad news is that Losman's pass was underthrown enough to make interferring possible.

The Giants are really getting their asses kicked. They and their fans were too satsified with the Colts game. It was a home loss. Not good. And on the heels of that playoff embarassment? Maybe the worst game the Giants have ever played? There's no urgency on this team and there should be.

Sometimes it seems like Daunte Culpepper is playing with a blindfold. What was he looking at on that pick at the end of the first half? How is Miami losing this game? I guess one question answers the other.

The Falcons are playing a college offense. And it's working. They're doing that Texas shotgun. If the defensive end stays wide, Vick hands off to Dunn who has a hole you can drive a truck through. If he crashes down, Vick fakes it and comes around and gets the wide open lane around end. You beat this by hitting the QB on every play no matter what (he his faking as if he still has the ball when he doesn't). Ignore Dunn, kill the QB.

Reggie Wayne dropped an easy TD pass. Addai fumbled on the goal line. This game should be 28-0.

Well, there's another TD to the right by Vick. Just when I was getting excited about a stat.

Another easy TD for Stallworth. It wasn't so much a blown coverage as a terrible attempt to chuck him at the line of scrimmage. Credit Stallworth.

Chad Johnson has taken Wesley Snipes in Demolition Man to heart with that ridiculous blond mowhawk.

Okay, Chris Simms had another pass deflected on the line. What's his problem with this? Too many three-step, timing drops?

Wali Lundy's fumble is bad news if you have Lundy shares.

Giants in the shotgun on first down. You have to love that if you're an Eli Manning owner.

Mike Vick's TD pass to Crumpler last week was his first to the right side of the field since at least 2004; none last year. If you can't throw to your right as a QB, I think you have some problems.

Matt Schobel dropped an easy TD pass but then the Eagles got a break on a non-interception call that could have gone either way. Nope it doesn't, as Westbrook scoots around right end. He's a great player, much better in real life than in fantasy. But he's not built for extensive NFL duty.

Joseph Addai on the board. Nice speed on the catch and run.

Why do announcers always say stuff like, "The Texans only chance today is to run the ball!" Right, maybe they can score 17 points and win a slugfest. Please.

Blown coverage on the Toomer TD. Someone thought they were in zone, the other thought they were in man. Oops.

Palmer is on the board to Kelly Washington, of all people. Washington has some nice size and speed but can't stay healthy.

After the turnover, Manning runs on first, runs on second (for crap, of course) then throws a TD. Peyton, pass to set up the run!

Rudi Johnson runs with much more elusiveness between the tackles than I though he ever would. He's go some hops.

David Carr sacked on the first play. No one cares about your running game, boys. Second play, fumbled snap. Nice start for Carr. Maybe he just stinks.

I like the delay on satellite vs. over the air. I feel like I'm looking back in time.

The Jets have put me in the position now where I'll actually be upset if they get waxed this afternoon. I needed an emotional break from this team. Not a divorce, just a separation. But now I'm racing back into their arms.

They give fantasy picks right now when they're doing the game roundups on Fox? Crazy. Are any of these guys even in leagues? Do they play at all? Just tell us who you think is going to be the game's dominant player and why and we'll figure out the rest.

We're going most recent comment on top as opposed to on the bottom. So, this is reverse order. John Abraham is out. Abraham only plays when he's 100 percent, as the Falcons will find out. Okay, he'll go when he's 95 percent, too. But that's a rarity in the NFL.

This NFL Game Mix is so cool. And being able to get the stats through your TV DVR? Amazing. I need a bigger TV though.

So, I have Game Mix on one tuner. Recording Bills-Dolphins off the regular CBS feed. Have Giants-Eagles on a TV with rabbit ears. And have Texans-Colts ready on the previous channel button. Of course, this is all subject to change. But the only other game that interests me, that I don't think I have a good feel for pre-kickoff, is Panthers-Vikings.