Until the End of Time

What a brutal week of fantasy and of football.

The games all needed a heavy dose of the Viagra that's constantly promoted during every commercial break in every market. I assume this advertising is working and there are a lot of middle-aged, overweight and balding men eager and able. I predict that by next year we'll be seeing the Lifetime Network promoting mace so wives can keep these steroid Romeos at bay.

There was no witching hour this week, that usually glorious period between 3 and 4 p.m. when you tune to all the fantastic finishes. I'm sorry, Jags vs. Colts didn't qualify. Green Bay trying to mount a fourth-quarter rally without Favre? If felt like August. Or 1991 (take your pick). What about Favre running on to the field to throw that fourth-down pass? He's like the shark in "Jaws," either very smart or very dumb.

The running backs were also on the Way Back Machine this week. Curtis Martin and Emmitt Smith leading the charge? No one was playing Emmitt, of course. What can you say about Martin. The odds are against every 30-year-old running back from any point going forward. But I've been humbled by him already this year. Maybe the odds are 55 percent against vs. the 70 percent or more I would have surmised in August (or in my Buy/Sell/Hold a couple weeks back). Would I still "sell" him? Yes, definitely. But the price is going up. (Hey, I might be dumb, but I'm not stupid.)

You also had Drew Brees and Billy Volek leading the QB charge and Reche Caldwell and David Patten atop the WR board. Tiki Barber has been a revelation all year, but he's got some miles and still isn't trusted near the goal line. Amos Zereoue? Well, I liked him last year. Now I'm reading "The Physics of Football" and will be forever down on any running back below 220 pounds (as well as short-legged kickers).

Justin McCareins? Justin Tumberlake looks like he's going to score more TDs this year. I feel like I'm in a Woody Allen movie regarding JM. "You mean, my whole fallacy was wrong?" Uh, yep. Hey, Santana Moss sucks, too and Pennington seems to complete about five passes to WRs each week. Am I griping, somewhat desperately? Of course.

I don't regret the Eric Moulds "sell." Why start a WR on a team that scores one TD per game? And Bledsoe just stinks. As Pianowski said to me backstage: "His brain is on tape delay and every team that plays him looks like they have a pass rush like the '75 Steelers."

I want to see Jay Fielder's diploma for proof that he actually attended an Ivy League school. Have you ever seen a guy make as many head-scratching decisions as he does at the worst possible time? A lateral to your guard to avoid a two-yard sack in the final two minutes? It was second and five, bro'. Just relax. But on behalf of all Jets fans, thanks for the gift win. We'll send you something for Chanukah.

There are a lot of guys I could go "sell" on this week. It's going to be tough to narrow them down. I'm going to have to try hard not to be rash. The "buys" are going to be a challege though.

I sort of like Leonard Henry. It's the contrarian in me. The Dolphins can't be this bad, can they? Won't the defense keep them in games and give Henry 20 carries? He's worth the reach, that's all I'm saying.

I'm not going to gloat on Kerry Collins. Yet. Let's just say that no Giants watcher was suprised by yesterday's meltdown. Your ability to throw dowfield is necessarily to your ability to threaten the defense underneath and horizontally, too. We don't need the physics book for that.

Oh, and I promise not to pick against the Patriots again until either the sun burns out or they lose a football game, whichever comes first.